Look Inward I

‘The husband should give his wife what she deserves as his wife. And the wife should give her husband what he deserves as her husband’ 1 Cor.7:3 [ERV].

One of the things marriage is about is companionship and this is what God intended from the beginning. ‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him’ Gen.2:18. It is for this purpose also that ‘…a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one’ Gen.2:24. In other words, the man lets go of his former life and begins a new one with his wife as his primary focus. Denying your spouse companionship is bound to hurt him/her. Yet there are many sides to couple’s refusal to hang out with each other. You need to look inward because there may be something that puts him/her off about you. Perhaps it’s an attitude or character trait you need to put in check. The only person you can change is yourself, you can’t change your spouse, so look inward and do what needs to be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. Again perhaps it’s that he/she has the bad habit of hanging out with the wrong crowd and it does not necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you. Instead this is a pointer that you really need to pray for your spouse and put yourself into his/her life spiritually by force. Sometimes you go through seasons in marriage when you just want your space. I went through that season but thank God my wife was relentless about putting herself into my life spiritually and physically by force. In truth ‘what God has joined together, let no room put asunder’. In other words, not even you who is in the picture. In fact there was a time I left the room and went to sleep in the living room downstairs and when I woke up my wife’s head was on my shoulder. So we never really stayed in different rooms but thank God for her persistence because she did not give up. My advice is not to give up on your spouse physically and prayerfully. And of course the God that helped us pass that season will also help you through yours in Jesus Name. Always remember that God says, ‘two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed’ Ecc.4:9.

Prayer: Father, I ask for the grace to give my spouse all that he/she deserves. Grace me to be the best companion for him/her, in Jesus Name.