Steps To Freedom II

‘But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves’ Neh.4:9

The third step towards freedom from abuse is to confront the abuser and the abuse. When you are confronting it you have to trust God for the outcome. This is where a lot of people miss it. They want to confront the abuser and they want to control the outcome. You cannot. When you are confronting the abuser and the abuse, you have to trust God for the outcome. The outcome can go anyway if it is a marriage relationship, which is what we are dealing with. Both people in the marriage can go in different directions. That is the reality. People who have lost their lives to abuse in marriage, if they had followed these three steps, would definitely have been alive today. It is either the abuser seeks for help and gets out of his/her mess and stops feeling entitled or justifying the nonsense he/she is doing. Or they go their different ways. Some people right now are thinking but the Bible says ‘what God has joined together let no man put asunder’. And I agree with that one hundred percent– totally. Some people’s advice to the abused is when you took your vows, you said till death do you part; so stay there. The people that give such advice, check they will never give that same counsel to their own daughter. They are just hypocrites.

While I would say don’t give up on your marriage, if he wants to kill you then remember that ‘he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day’. If he wants to kill you, let him go. This does not apply to physical abuse alone. It also applies to verbal, economic, emotional, and sexual abuse. A lot of people, men particularly, don’t begin to think until it dawns on them that they can lose their marriage. Until they realize that their wife can actually walk away. You don’t have to wait for abuse to happen to you to learn how to deal with it. The wife of a very notable preacher recently divorced him. His own abuse was neglect. Some people will think that you can put up with neglect all your life. You shouldn’t, confront it. The key thing is refusing to continue taking the abuse.  And you must trust God for the outcome.

Prayer: Father, I ask for the wisdom to trust You with the outcome of everything and everyone I have to confront, in Jesus Name.