Love Works II

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  1 Cor. 13:7 [emphasis added]

As human beings, we sometimes drift out of love in our relationships. And weeds will grow on anything that you abandon. So what do you do when you discover that you have drifted apart maybe because you focused too much on work or allowed a season to take too much out of you? What do you do when you find yourself in a place where your heart and your feelings are absent? What you do is to act in love. Acting in love will mean still opening the door for your wife even though you do not feel anything yet.

Acting in love will mean kissing her every morning even when you do not feel anything. Acting in love will mean bringing her breakfast in bed. And perhaps by the time you are doing this, the feelings will come back gradually because that is how it works. So if you are reading this today and you feel like your marriage has run out of wine, the good news is you can pump the wine right back into it. Go with your head and your heart will follow. Trust God with your feelings.

Yet the question is, why do feelings die in relationships? One major reason why feelings die in relationships is we live a lie. We see something that is like an elephant in the room and nobody wants to talk about it. There are issues sticking out but no one wants to talk about it. The story is told about an alcoholic who vowed not to drink one certain Christmas Eve. That day went by but he stayed true to his vow. On the next day, he loaded his van with every drink he could find and drove to a quiet place. Then he drank every single bottle. And in that drunken state he decided to sing every Christmas song he knows at the top of his voice. Unknown to him, there was a monastery near by.

The monks however had to endure the loud singing of a drunken man all night because they had taken a twelve-hour vow of silence. What vow of silence have you taken in your relationship? What issues have you decided not to discuss anymore? Do you think it is wise to throw it under the carpet? Guess what? As long as it lingers, it will daily deplete your feelings until they are completely gone. If you have really put that issue behind you, then how come you still feel the way you do? I know bringing it up will result in argument and tension. But it is going to lead to healing.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, as we confront long-standing issues in our relationships, let there be healing and restoration, in Jesus Name.