Mindsets

‘Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it …God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you’ Rom.12:2 [MSG]

Apart from the fact that the abuser has a major fundamental problem, the problem in an abusive relationship is not communication. The problem in an abusive relationship is the mindset of the abuser. This is so important because I have seen people try to address an abusive relationship as if they are addressing a communication problem. And many times it is a mindset that the person has had for decades. In some cases it stems from bad home training or stuff that the person has gotten away with up until now. But God will bring deliverance today in the Mighty Name of Jesus. An abusive person is not the person that has committed an abusive act, as we all have, and has sought forgiveness. That is not an abusive person. I am quite certain that everyone who is married and reading this today has said something hurtful to their spouse. We all have; but what a child of God does when they realize this, is that they repent. And when they repent, they do not repeat. Repentance is a turn around, a change of mind. But the abusive person can say sorry a hundred times, in fact you get tired of hearing them apologize because they never change. Some even cry while apologizing but guess what? They are back in the mindset of being abusive. Let me illustrate; a man publicly claims that he can never beat his wife but he slaps her when no one is looking. The same man slaps her and then comes back to apologize and repent. A few hours or days pass and that same man will say something like this: ‘I will just… Don’t make me…’ He doesn’t do it but that is an abuser right there. Can you see the difference?

An abusive person has this mentality of power of control and entitlement. You will never see an abusive person that doesn’t feel entitled. They are control freaks. In fact, the reason for the abuse is because you are not conforming to their image. The song of the abuser is ‘worship me or else, bow to me or else, succumb to me or else you face the music’. That is the theme of the abuser. He/she wants to dominate the person they are in relationship with. They want ownership.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, please purge me and purge my marriage of every trace of any  type of abuse. I pray the same for everyone reading this today, in Jesus Name.