Domestic Affairs V

“Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged” Col.3:20-21

How often should children obey their parents? Always obey your parent for this pleases the Lord. So children should always obey their parents for it is pleasing unto the Lord. Just obey! However, where is the boundary in this? The boundary in this is simple, in our culture it is not uncommon to hear a mother speaking to a married man and telling the married man this is what you do because I am your mother and the Bible says [particularly if she knows you go to church] children obey your parents. You should tell her that the Bible says children; I am not a child anymore. Unfortunately, I have had to speak with men that struggle with this. They say, but my mum said I should do xyz. I say to them, you mother cannot run your home. And they say but the Bible says I should obey my mother. I say but you are not a child anymore. The Bible also says for this reasons shall a man live his father and mother. The word leave there means away from the influence and be joined to his wife. So you are your own man now, all you need to do is just honor your parents but you are not bound to obey them. But if you are under their roof, that is you are still staying in your father’s house with your wife and children, please obey them. If you are still under their roof and they tell you to sit down, you have to sit down. It may sound strange to you but there are men who are married but still living with their parents.

“Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged” Col.3:21 [emphasis added]. Interestingly, Paul starts by saying children obey your parents but he did not start the next sentence by saying parents do not aggravate your children. He specifically says fathers do not aggravate your children. That means fathers can be overbearing. Fathers love their family so much and want to protect their children so much that they could be overbearing. So God is saying to fathers do not aggravate your children. “Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]” Col.3:21 [AMP, emphasis added]. Interestingly, we have this mentality that as fathers and as parents we have to break our children and we have to break their spirits. Some of us did not but some of us grew up with that mentality that as the man you have to break their spirit. But God is saying don’t break their spirit. God is saying to us this is how to live.

Prayer [song]: Lord prepare me, to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true and with thanksgiving, I’ll be a living, sanctuary, for you. Amen.