Thoughtful Speaking

“You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say.” Pr. 18:20 [GN, emphasis added].

The first thing you do in situations of conflict is change your focus and the second thing is Watch Your Words. Do not attack the person you are in conflict with, attack the situation. The damage caused by some words is irreparable. In many cases, even though forgiveness happens but the scars remain. Some verbal weapons should never ever be used. Even in a war situation, there are ground rules. There are things you can do even in a war that can be considered a crime against humanity.

During the cold war for instance, the warring parties both agreed not to use nuclear weapons. There are some verbal nuclear weapons that you should not use in your life, in your marriage, and in your situations. Why? When nuclear weapons are released, they destroy both the target and the shooter. A bullet can be guided but gas and radiation cannot be guided as such. Divorce for instance is a word that should never be said in marriages. By the grace of God, I will be fifteen years married this year and I have never ever used that word. My wife and I made up our minds never to use it because you will have what you say.

I have been Pastoring for a few years now and I can tell you that I have seen lovely Christian marriages crumble. If you check, the first time they used the word divorce, they both did not believe it. They just said it out of anger but they kept saying it. Think about the first time you used the word, did you believe it could happen? Of course not; you were angry and you wanted to threaten or score a point. But Scripture says you will have what you say. There are some nuclear weapons that you do not want to deploy.

Another thing is, if you are married, never ever abuse your in-laws. It can be tough I know but do not do it. “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement … Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander…  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Eph.4:29-30 [emphasis added].

Prayer: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer [Ps.19:14 KJV], in Jesus Name.