Unselfish

“Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself… Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ, who, though He was God, did not demand and cling to His rights as God…” Phil. 2:3,5-6 [TLB]

Everyone has the potential to be selfish in his or her relationship. And we said one of the ways to think clearly about our relationships is to look to Jesus as our example. If unselfishness is a major key to a great relationship, how then does one become unselfish? One man admitted to me that he knows that he is selfish but he does not want to do anything about it. I pointed out to him that he risks losing his marriage and he did not mind that cost. Some people just do not want to be selfless. The truth is you cannot have a great relationship if you are not selfless. If you think it is always about you, it is going to be very rocky. To become unselfish:

#1. Give yourself a selfish reason to be unselfish. Feed your selfishness with unselfishness. God does that to us all the time. He says, you will serve the Lord your God and He will bless your bread and water and He will put none of those deadly diseases upon you which are upon the Egyptians. He knows that you want your bread and water blessed – selfishness. You do not want to be sick [selfishness]. God says come and serve me and I will give you that. Give yourself a selfish reason to be unselfish.

Take the marriage situation for instance, when you get home your wife is slaving away in the kitchen. You really are very selfish, you just want to sit-down and be served. She has asked for help to do stuff but you really do not want to do it. So think about the dividends if you do it. It is a selfish reason right? But do it.

#2. I need a better example through which I can have power over selfishness. In some cases there is nothing to gain but I just have to be selfless. So in such cases I need to look at the better example of Jesus so that I can rise above it. There will be cases where you really don’t want to forgive. Beyond the selfish reasons for forgiving the person, if you look at how Jesus forgave you, the example of Jesus going to the cross, it is easy to forgive. If you see the example of how Jesus served us, it is easy for you to serve even if there is nothing in return. “Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ” Eph.4:32 [NCV].

Prayer: Father, help me not to cling to my rights but to lay them down so that You will be glorified in my relationships, in Jesus Name.