Do It Quickly
Eph.4:26-27 (GN) “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin; and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the devil a chance.”
The fifth way to deal with difficult people is Resolve The Conflict Quickly. The question is, should a Christian ever get angry? Did Jesus ever get angry? Yes, Jesus did but that is not a license to be short fused. Inevitably, sometimes we get angry but God’s Word says, Eph.4:27 (Philips) “Never go to bed angry!” Back in the day, when my wife and I get into ‘husband and wife argument’ [heated argument], guess what she does? She just waits until it is getting dark and she says, “The Word of God says, “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and it would make me really upset. But that is the Word of God.
So, you can say this is me giving a tip to the married people and those that are yet to be married. However, you can only use this tool if both of you are submitted to God’s Word. If your spouse does not care about God or His Word, it will not work. The truth is that most times, it is our pride that keeps us from resolving our anger. The way I deal with this is, I started saying to my self, “When I swallow my anger, my stomach has sores but when I swallow my pride, my stomach has joy!” My advice? Swallow your pride!
Confrontation is the only way to resolve conflict. In conflict resolution, the confrontation approach is conducted by advocacy or by enquiry. If you go by enquiry, you will always get conflict resolved. When confronting an issue in enquiry, according to James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” [with emphasis]. The key is when you are listening, listen for the person’s hurt. What is the point of their pain? Then, when you discover it, empathize. Do not ridicule their point of pain.
For instance in counselling married couples, let’s say the wife finally realises the man’s point of pain and then her first response is, “Is that what you are complaining about?” That is not the way to respond to another person’s pain –empathize. Let the other person know that his or her pain means something to you. If you do not feel like that, then you need to grow up!
Prayer: Holy Spirit, please help me daily to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Help me live by Your Word, in Jesus Name. Amen!