Relational Ideal I

Rom.12:^4-5 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function,  so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.”

If you accidentally cut off your finger, and you can get to an expert on time, it can be stitched back in place and it will heal. However, the longer that same severed finger stays apart from the body, the more lifeless it becomes. In today’s world, people idolize independence, either mental or financial. Independence in itself is not a bad thing but that should not be the destination. If we really understand what God wants from us, we will see where independence is in the scheme of things.

Everyone is born dependent. The goal and joy of every parent is to raise independent children. However, some children are exposed to abuse or manipulation, some mothers just never let their children become independent. Such children grow into co-dependent adults – husbands that would prefer their wives to be co-dependent on them. Co-dependence is a totally unhealthy situation. Some co-dependent mothers insist that their sons cannot do anything without them. Something is definitely wrong with that. Or you have one person in a marriage that wants the other to be co-dependent on him or her. That is not what God wants.

God wants us to move from dependence to independence and move from independence to inter-dependence. Many people do not make it to the inter-dependence stage. A good number of people have gotten stuck at the independence stage. Unfortunately, a whole lot of people are stuck in the co-dependent stage. Co-dependence is like needing something to rely on, a crutch, an addiction, or a person. You would notice from the inserted image that there is no connection between co-dependence and interdependence. For a person to move from co-dependence to interdependence, the person has to go back to being dependent, then move to independence before inter-dependence can happen. Interdependence means contributing, bringing something to the table. As much as one person needs the other person in the relationship, they are not co-dependent on each other.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, expose and purge every co-dependence in me and empower me to attain interdependence in all my relationships, in Jesus Name. Amen!