Yours vs. His

“Don’t be selfish…  Be humble….  Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing.  Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.  Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.”  Phil. 2:3-6[ emphasis added]

When you are really in Christ Jesus, you have given your rights to God. That is what being a Christian is. If people really understand this, all the stress in marriages will go. The problem with us is that we confuse our wants with our rights. You want something does not mean it is your right. A man said it is his right to have a beautiful young wife besides his existing wife. After all, his father married three wives.

The Bible says the bishop must be a husband of one wife. He is not aspiring to be a bishop so that does not apply to him. So he wanted permission from his pastor to marry a new wife. Permission not granted; your want is different from your right. A lady insists on marrying a rich man. Why is it your right to marry a rich man? My mother suffered, we all suffered, suffering must not go from generation to generation. Or the converse may be the case; my parents are rich why should I drop the standard? You want to marry a rich man but it is not your right to marry a rich man. So am I saying you should marry a poor man? I am saying you should marry a great man.

If you marry a great man, it does not matter whether he is rich now or not because he will be wealthy. If you marry a rich man that is a mediocre man, sorry for you. You say you need to have  revenge. No, you do not need to have revenge; you want to have revenge. Revenge is not your right. Revenge is the exclusive preserve of God. He says vengeance is mine. And the list can go on and on. What I want you to do is to make a list of the rights that have been causing you stress and then give them back to God. If you do these things, your life would be stressless.

The second thing you do in conflicting situations is, Watch Your Words. If you must speak, attack the problem not the person. “You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say” Pr. 18:20 [GN, emphasis added]. Instead of saying that is how you people are in your family, say this thing is unacceptable. And deal with it, not the person.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I surrender my “rights” and my words to You afresh today. Help me deal with situations of conflict in light of You, in Jesus Name.