Before

“Don’t be selfish…  Be humble….  Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.  Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.”  Phil. 2:3-6[ emphasis added]

The secret of defusing conflict is in understanding where people are coming from. Understand their circumstance, their background, and their temperament. I know that understanding can be tough and a lot of people do not know how. So I will let you in on the secret to understanding and it is; you understand by listening before you speak. It sounds very simple but this is a life-saver. However in a conflict, all people care about is what they want to say. Have you noticed? But it will only cause more strife. In some cases, one person is practically begging the other person to listen. You get

 understanding by listening before you speak. There is a difference between keeping quiet and waiting for your turn to speak and listening before you speak. I am certain a lot of us can relate with this. When you do this, even though the person is speaking, you are not listening. You just want them to finish so that it will not be said that you did not allow them speak. So you let them finish everything they want to say so they can listen to what you have to say. Huge difference? Regardless of the relationship, even the relationship with your child, if you would listen before you speak it would change that relationship. If you are not just keeping quiet to wait your turn to speak, if you are actually listening then you will be able to understand really where the person is coming from.

In computing, there are Input/output devices, right? You have five devices on your head alone, for Input/output. Four of them are input only; only one of them is Input/output. So that is one over five. You have two eyes, your physical eyes only receive as God has designed it. Two ears, your ears only hear – input. Your mouth speaks and can eat. So listen five times or at least four times as much as you speak. If you would do that, it will change your life totally. “Don’t be selfish…  Be humble….  Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing.  Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.  Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.”  Phil. 2:3-6.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, please teach me to be slow to speak and quick to listen at all times, in Jesus Name.