“It”

Sng.2:⁷ “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right”

If you can control your appetite for food, you can control all other appetites including sex. But we must always accept that sex is what it is. Some people like it and some do not for two main reasons. Firstly, some people do not like sex because of their past experiences. If you grew up with badly prepared beans [water on one side, oil floating on the water and the beans at the bottom of the pot], you probably would not like beans. But the day you encounter well prepared beans, what do you think will happen? The second reason some people do not like sex is interest. Some people claim not to have the sex drive hormones.

Sex is what it is. It can be very sweet and this sometimes crosses into addiction. But it is what it is. So I want to encourage every parent, when you are having the sex talk with your child just say it as it is. Do not try to colour it or minimize it. One of the biggest mistakes the church and parents make is trying to minimize sex. Sex is what it is. Even God does not try to minimize sex. God says it as it is. Some people try to minimize it by telling their children that it is not a big deal. Only for the children to discover that it is a big deal.

How can you say it is not a big deal? Think about your teenage years; was it not a big deal? Personally, when I was a teenager it was like that was all I was seeing everywhere. In today’s world no matter how much you shield your children, the sexual awareness will come. You have to say it as it is so that you can help them overcome the drive.

In a bid to discourage illicit sex, some people attempt to make sex look and sound bad. Sex is what it is; it is beautiful if done right.

Sex is a gift from God and like everything from God, including food, sex can destroy you if you use it outside of God. Interacting with couples that have been married for years, I discovered that the root cause of their intimacy problems is that one person feels dirty. Why? Because someone in their past, in an attempt to discourage illicit sex, had portrayed it as dirty. So even though people are married they just cannot shake off the “dirty” feeling. It is a big disservice. God speaks about sex as it is and we cannot be holier than God.

Prayer: Father, empower me to train up my children one child at a time.  Put Your truth in my mouth and be their unshakable foundation, in Jesus Name. Amen!