The Dynamics III
Matt.19:5-6 (KJV) “And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
For what cause? For the cause of marriage “…shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh…” When a man confuses his mother for his wife, or his wife for his mother, he is going to create a whole lot of anarchy. Your mother can go on and on about how she suffered for you, to pay your fees and put a roof over your head when your father was not there. Do not be manipulated! You have to know when and how to politely say no to your parents, not out of disrespect but because you are responsible for your own family.
A lot of men put themselves under undue pressure trying to decide who to love more. Do I love my mother more or do I love my wife more? Wives are saying, you need to choose today between me and your mother. Mothers are saying, is it going to be me that has been with you since you were born or this girl that just came? You do not even know where she is from or what her agenda is. The issue is, you are asking the wrong question. The question is not is it going to be your wife or your mother. The two loves cannot be compared. They are totally different.
You love your mother, she is your mother, it is a hundred percent! You love your wife, she is your wife, it is a hundred percent! You cannot do fifty percent here, fifty percent there. It will not work. You have to love your mother a hundred percent. She is your mother, love her and honour her hundred percent. You have to love your wife a hundred percent. The confusion comes with prioritizing. You must always prioritize your wife over your mother. It does not mean you love your mum less. In fact, if she is wise, she will be happy because she has succeeded in raising a good son that knows how to treat a lady! You must always prioritize your wife – always! You need a lot of wisdom not to make your mother feel neglected and God will give you wisdom.
Eph.6:2 “Honour your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:” (emphasis added). Anything that you leave to human beings they will abuse. God knows that in the bid to prioritize his wife more than his parents, the man could easily dishonour his parents. So, God attaches a promise to honouring parents. Eph.6: 3 If you honour your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” (emphasis added). In other words, if things are not well, the first place to check is your relationship with your parents.
Prayer: Father, I ask for the wisdom required to prioritize my spouse even as I honour my parents, in Jesus Name. Amen!