As Yourself

‘In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself’ Eph.5:28.

There is a French adage that says, “he who loves well, punishes well” [translated]. This was the mindset and pride of the medieval man. They believed that loving their wives meant punishing and disciplining her. And they even try to quote scripture, ‘the child that God accepts, God chastises’. She is your wife – not your child. You will never see in the Bible ‘husbands discipline your wives’. The mentality of the abuser, they think they have to take personal responsibility for the disciplining of their spouse. That is an abusive position you have taken. God has not put you there, that is God’s role. God says, ‘husband, love your wife’ – totally different. You will never hear God say husband discipline your wife. Rather, God will use words like nourish her, nurture her, and build her up.

If you are an African man and think like an African man, you would struggle with this. But you will never have a happy wife and you will never have a happy home if you continue in the traditional African way of dealing with issues. Your wife does not belong to you! She is not your property! Don’t you get it? She chose to marry you! In case you do not know, I’m married and I have been married for over a decade. So I am not telling you stuff that I have not had to deal with. I know the challenge of living with one woman. But if you want to get the results that God has for you, you have to do what God has told you to do. God did not say husband discipline your wife, God says husband love your wife. You don’t own her. I often say that we men must never forget that our wives chose to marry us willingly. And guess what? They can choose not to marry you again. Now I know you don’t read this kind of things in a devotional very often. Some may even wonder if this is advocating for divorce. It is not! What this simply means is that anything you abuse, you will lose. Whether it is your shirt, your car, your job, or your wife, anything you abuse you will lose. If you keep abusing it, one day it will be gone.

Prayer: Father, I repent for the times I have not loved my spouse as I love myself. Give me the grace daily to love my spouse and show it, in Jesus Name.