The Difference

The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself” Prov. 11: 25 [KJV]

Yesterday we talked about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea. The former is characteristic of a giver and the later is characteristic of a taker. You need to ask yourself the hard question and answer it truthfully, “Am I a Taker or am I a Giver?” “Am I the Sea of Galilee in my relationships or am I the Dead Sea in my marriage?” Taking is different from receiving. We all must examine ourselves and honestly answer these sort of questions. But there is something about Givers that stands out, Givers always find out how to help. How do you know a Giver? When a Giver enters into a place he or she wants to know, “how can I be of value in this place?” Hence they regularly asks the question, “How can I help?” The Giver is quick to lend a hand and quick to listen. The Giver loves people and uses things and not the other way round. The Giver gets their hands dirty, gives easily and sacrificially. A marriage or a relationship that has a Giver or that is made up of Givers will work.

Takers on the other hand do not pay attention to the needs of others. Takers always ask “what is in it for me?” Have you met these kinds of people? You ask them to take responsibility and they ask “what’s in it for me?” “What do I get for taking responsibility?” You ask them to do something for themselves and they’re still wondering “what is in it for me?” Classic Takers.! They do not like to go out of their way. Takers feel resentment when they have to change their plans to accommodate other people. Takers are sensitive about their own right. They are prone to loving things and using people. Givers love people and use things but Takers love things and use people. Takers tend to talk more than they listen. Takers avoid people and situations that might ask too much of them. So if you’re asking too much of them they just avoid you. Why, because they are not willing to give to anybody. If it is not about them, then it might as well not exist. A young man once said to me, “I know that I am selfish, that is how I am.” And I told him that marriage is not about being selfish. In fact marriage is about generosity. Marriage will NOT work if you are selfish. And he says to me, “well that is how I am!” He was married but today he is not anymore. What I am saying is check your relationships and check your life. Ask yourself the hard question, “Am I a Taker, or am I a Giver?” In your marriage, I want to challenge you, to ask your spouse if you are a Taker or a Giver? And do not get angry at what they say.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, I submit myself to You completely, fill heart with love that seeks to give in all situations, in Jesus Name.