Your Focus

“You should keep a clear mind in every situation.” 2 Tim. 4:5 [emphasis added]

The second type of stress is the Stress of Conflict. We are all different and because of this, conflict is an inevitable part of life. Conflict is never fun; it can be stressful. I do not enjoy conflict. The difference is that I have just accepted that it is a part of life and that is why it appears that I respond appropriately with conflict. So how does one eradicate conflict?

#1. In conflicting situations, the first thing you do is Change Your Focus. Change your focus from your needs to the needs of the other person. Change your focus from your pain to their pain, from your viewpoint to their viewpoint. Look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. There is a secret to conflict resolution and to diffusing conflict situations. And the secret is this, understand where the person is coming from. It will help you. Understanding where the person is coming from will save your marriage.

A man married a woman that was always picking quarrels and she was totally competitive about everything. But the day he understood that she grew up with seven other children and they all had to share one piece of meat and it was survival of the fittest. Even now that she no longer needs to share one piece of meat, she is still hiding meat from her husband. And it was a problem until he understood where she was coming from. That thing will continually be a source of conflict until you understand where the person is coming from.

My wife understands where I am coming from. We grew up enjoying competition. For us competition was fun, it was healthy. You win today, I do not have any hard feelings towards you but I am planning on how I will win tomorrow. But some people cannot handle that. When they are in a competitive environment, they struggle with negative emotions. That is how we grew up, it was normal for us. Understanding it will help you love us easier. Some people do not like confrontation so why force them to have confrontation? I know some things you need to confront but you cannot confront everything everyday. If you understand where they are coming from, you are able to accept the person and love the person easily.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, as I apply these truths to my relationships, help me to grow in understanding, acceptance, and affection, in Jesus Name.