Like Christ

1 Sam.20:¹⁷ “And Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of friendship again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself.”

Statistics say that in the United Kingdom, the rate of depression and suicide among young men is much higher than among young women. They put the reason at the fact that the male connections are not as deep as that of their female counterparts. While perhaps this may not be applicable in our own culture, but it is worthy of note. The male ego can be a major challenge to genuine male friendships. The average man (that has not gone to the cross, that is not open or broken) does not want to be perceived as weak. Most men want to be seen as having everything together, as having things under control.

Even when it comes to counselling, women are more open to counselling. Men typically do not believe that they need counselling. Women cannot understand it because there is obviously fire on the mountain. But the man insists that he knows how to put out the fire, he can fix things by himself. Alright then, so do it. I will put it out tomorrow! Tomorrow becomes two weeks, two weeks become two years. You feel you can fix it, but you have not fixed it one year, or in five years. Sadly, in some other cases, twenty-five years running, and he still has not fixed the problem. Guess what? He is still fully convinced that he can fix it all by himself. However, the fire that was previously domestic has now grown into a wildfire. He would now need to enlist the help of ‘fire services’ to put it out. It is a male issue.

You must make up your mind not to let ego destroy you. My prayer is that God will help our men, in Jesus Name, because they cannot give what they do not have. Some men do not even know how to express (show) emotion. For some people, emotions come easily to them but for some others, it does not. Men, we need to learn to be vulnerable because that is a big part of it. We deliberately went through the stories of David and Jonathan at the beginning of this study. These men were men of war, macho, the men’s men. This shows us that it is not really of God to have your ego rule you. Trash the mindset of, I am a man – that is how we are. It is how men are, it is a dysfunction that has been enabled by our culture. Some people even take it further and say, I am an African man, a traditional man. No such thing; there are only men that Jesus made. If you need to express emotions, express it. It does not take from you!

Prayer: Father, I ask for the courage to be all that You have made me and called me to be. Please give me the grace to be rooted and secure in Christ, in Jesus Name. Amen!