Shovel And Sword

‘Again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband’ Eph.5:33

Again I say, you have to consistently choose your wife. You have to consistently choose her over your selfish self and over other women. The same thing goes for the women; you have to keep choosing your husband again and again. The wife is not the property of the husband. Traditionally, men think that the woman is their property, even though they don’t say it but they act it. She is not your property! She willingly submits to you out of love for you and love for Christ. It is a choice she has made and you had better make that choice palatable. Some of us need to read these truths repeatedly so that they register on our inside. Some of us need to make notes and put them around us as reminders. God did not give the woman to the man to own. God gave the woman to the man to love – totally different things.

I’m going to challenge you to read Nehemiah 4 & 6. It chronicles the typical way to deal with abusers. It is a very good picture of the abusive person [a Sanballat], they are controlling, they feel entitled, and that is their mindset. They include deception, fear, mockery, and slander of the victim to cause others to think they are the real problem. A ‘Sanballat’ knows how to make a case in front other people and make the spouse that they are abusing look like the problem in the relationship. A Sanballat always know how to recruit Tobiah’s and Shemaiah and the rest of the gang. They know how to write the letter to the king and how to play the politics. But I like Nehemiah, he said from that day on a shovel on one hand and a sword on the other hand. That is your way out of an abusive relationship. Shovel to build, sword to fight. As an adult, someone cannot consistently abuse you without your permission. If you are a ‘victim’ of an abusive relationship, it is because you have permitted it and decided to be a victim. The day you say ‘no more’, that day it will end. So you get to choose if you will be a victim or not. It is your choice. You cannot complain if you keep permitting it. So nobody can abuse you consistently without your permission. Stop complaining and do something about it.

Prayer: Father, I pray for everyone who is currently suffering abuse and I ask that You will give them grace to take up their shovel and sword, in Jesus Name.