Acceptance vs. Approval

Hebrews 12:⁶ “For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and He corrects each one He accepts as his child.” (NLT/Voice)

If you want to have relational metamorphosis you need to Get Interested In Other People, Do Not Be A Chronic Complainer, Learn To Be A Good Listener, and Accept People Unconditionally. Romans 15:⁷ “Accept one another… just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (NIV). If you want to have quality relationships, you need to learn to accept people unconditionally. The mistake we make is that we confuse acceptance with approval. Acceptance is not necessarily approval. Acceptance is loyalty. Some children feel their parents do not accept them because the parents insist that they cannot tolerate ‘nonsense’.

Parents, you can disapprove of the behaviour of the child while accepting the person of the child. You have to learn to communicate with the child in a way that the child knows that you are for them. You are loyal to them no matter what. In all other relationships also, you have to be loyal without a question. And it is because you will never get close to anyone you are trying to change. If you make it your business to change the people in your life, they will run from you. But they need to change… I do not care if it is your spouse, if you make it your priority to change your spouse, you will never get close to him or her. Even with your children, if you make it your priority to change them, you may lose them.

Interestingly, some people do it with their neighbours. You want your neighbour to change? Why, how is that your business? It is not your business so mind your business. But he always snores when he is sleeping, and I can hear it from my room window. Close your room window or get ear mufflers. It is not your business to change people. The truth is, change only comes after acceptance. You cannot influence someone that feels you are not on their side. The first step to influencing people is to get a buy in. The person must know without a shadow of doubt that you are loyal to them before they can be influenced, and subsequently changed.

So, what am I saying? Acceptance is unconditional and should not be mistaken for approval. If you check you will discover that Biblical friendships are unconditional. Proverbs 17:¹⁷ “A friend is always loyal… A friend loves at all times…” (NLT/NIV). Not I love you when… It is, I love you -period! If the child does something you are not pleased with as a parent, deal with the issue but while you are at it, love your child. If you can just accept people unconditionally, you will be amazed at how it will transform your life.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, help me love and accept people unconditionally, in Jesus Name. Amen!