Lab 101

1 Corinthians 13:^4-5 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”

Yesterday we established that Attraction is not love. Attraction is a good thing because it can make learning to love easier. But attraction is not love. However, if you are in the attraction phase you should know that you have to learn to love someone. If you are not carried away by the attraction and floating in cloud nine, you can use that time to learn to love the person. So that when the attraction fades, because it does fade, you are already in the process of learning to love the person. And you are already choosing to love the person. You do not have to learn infatuation. You do not have to learn desire. People are desiring strange things these days. You do not have to learn attraction. But you have to learn to love. You have to learn how to love.

Love is not what you can do for me. Love is not how you make me feel. Love is not how beautiful or handsome you are. Love is what I can do for you sacrificially. Love is what I can learn of you and do for you. In essence, love is a choice. Love is a commitment. Attraction is not a choice most times. Attraction is a feeling, not a choice. Have you heard people say, we do not choose who we love? What they really mean is you do not choose who you are attracted to. But you choose who you love. Love is a commitment. Love creates feelings, but love is not a feeling. When you choose to love and you learn to love, it creates that feeling that many people confuse for love. In fact, it creates a very great and powerfully sustained version of that feeling.

But love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. That is why there is really nothing like falling in love. You do not fall in love. You can fall into attraction. You can fall into desire. You can fall into infatuation. But you do not “fall in love”. But Pastor, we have to fall in love. What you are falling into is an attraction. You do not “fall in love”. And guess what? You do not “fall out” of love. You love because you chose to love. And if you stop loving, it is because you chose to stop loving. Pastor, we want to go our separate ways. Why do you want to go separate ways? We have “fallen out” of love. You have believed a lie. You cannot “fall out” of love. It is impossible because you cannot fall into love. You choose to love. If you love, you have chosen to love.

The choice could have happened during the phase of attraction, infatuation, or desire. In fact, it is good that the choice comes then, and you are learning it then. However, attraction, infatuation, or desire will fade. That choice to love should continue if the marriage will last.

Prayer: Father, because Your Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage, I ask for the

courage and strength to choose to love my spouse every day, in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen!