Category Archives: Marriage
Instructive Armor I
‘Then Saul gave David his own armor – a bronze helmet and a coat of mail. David put it on, strapped on the sword over it, took one step or two to see what it was like, for he had never worn such things before. “I can’t go in these,” he protested…’ 1 Sam.17:36-37
When you look at Goliath’s armor [1Sam.17:5-7], Saul’s armor [1Sa.17:38-39], and David’s armor [1Sam.17:40], it is very instructive to us. The value to us is you cannot go against the enemy and defeat the enemy with a weapon that the enemy knows how to use better than you. You cannot use the same tools that the enemy has mastered to defeat the enemy. You simply cannot! I was listening to Dr. Okey Onuzo’s teaching in God’s Favourite House during the Read the rest of this entry
Steps To Freedom III
‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker then you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered’ 1Pet.3:7.
Today we will be learning some very important lessons from the story of a notable man of God. We began yesterday by saying his wife recently divorced him because he had neglected her. During the interview he said that top on his priority list was God, then the ministry, and then family. So God first, after that he attends to the ministry, and if he has anytime left he attends to family. You and I know that there will be no time left because the ministry work Read the rest of this entry
Steps To Freedom II
‘But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves’ Neh.4:9
The third step towards freedom from abuse is to confront the abuser and the abuse. When you are confronting it you have to trust God for the outcome. This is where a lot of people miss it. They want to confront the abuser and they want to control the outcome. You cannot. When you are confronting the abuser and the abuse, you have to trust God for the outcome. The outcome can go anyway if it is a marriage relationship, which is what we are dealing Read the rest of this entry
As Yourself
‘In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself’ Eph.5:28.
There is a French adage that says, “he who loves well, punishes well” [translated]. This was the mindset and pride of the medieval man. They believed that loving their wives meant punishing and disciplining her. And they even try to quote scripture, ‘the child that God accepts, God chastises’. She is your wife – not your child. You will never see in the Bible ‘husbands discipline your wives’. The mentality of the abuser, they think they have to take personal Read the rest of this entry
Mindsets
‘Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it …God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you’ Rom.12:2 [MSG]
Apart from the fact that the abuser has a major fundamental problem, the problem in an abusive relationship is not communication. The problem in an abusive relationship is the mindset of the abuser. This is so important because I have seen people try to address an abusive relationship as if they are addressing a communication problem. And many times it is a mindset that the person has had for decades. In some cases it stems from bad Read the rest of this entry
Be Merciful
‘There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you’ James 2:13
The second type of abuse is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is so subtle. I think this is one of the greatest destroyers. Physical abuse is major but verbal abuse is one of the greatest destroyers of marriages. Verbal abuse is when one partner just consistently speaks horrible things to the other partner. The husband/wife makes the other person look like a fool or an idiot consistently. It is an abuse. This Read the rest of this entry
As You Should
‘At last! The man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called woman, because she was taken from man’ Gen.2:23.
‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered’ 1Pet.3:7. When it comes to the subject of abuse, a lot of people have many questions running Read the rest of this entry
Your Responsibility
‘The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged’ Ps.69:32
I feel a need to stress this point again because a lot of people have abandoned their destinies for greener pasture. Yes, the grass sometimes appears greener on the other side. When you stand at a distance, the grass can look greener on the other side. But the reality is that when you get closer to that grass you will find that it is not greener. The grass is only greener where it is watered. So water Read the rest of this entry
Consistently Choose
‘Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love’ 1 Cor.13:13
Love and sex are marathons. They are not sprints -they are marathons. Some people have a level they want to get to in their sexuality with their spouse and they want to achieve it on day one. That is not the way to go about it because you will hurt yourself and you will hurt your relationship. Sometimes, some things take time. You grow in loving your wife. As a man I had to learn, and you Read the rest of this entry
Start By Inviting God
‘And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words’ Rom.8:26.
Sex within marriage is an act of worship. We glorify God when we use the gift He has given us in the way He intended. If you can pray and you pray for your brother and he is healed. That is an act of worship. If you can sweep and you sweep well, it is an act of worship. Our service and our utilization of our gifts in the way that God has intended it is an act of worship. It also means that the abuse of the gift is an affront to God. The Read the rest of this entry
