Stay On Track
“Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well, and won’t need to compare himself with someone else” Gal. 6:4 [LB]
The first way to reduce the stress of competition is to Stop Comparing. Comparing is a foolish thing to do because you are unique. God designed you uniquely. In fact, God designed your genes uniquely. No two human beings have the same genes. You have designer genes. Why is it a bad thing to compare? It is because it causes envy and bitterness. It makes you miserable, do not do it. “Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well, and won’t need to compare himself with someone else” Gal.6:4[LB, emphasis added]. Read the rest of this entry
Watch Out!
“Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions” Luke 12:15 [NIV]
The default mode in conflict situations, even when you are tender hearted, is to be tough and deal with the other person. But each time you go that route, you are going against scriptures and God cannot bless you. Every time I read this portion of Scripture I wish God could have said not offending one another. Would that not have helped us a whole lot more than having to forgive one another? But God did not stop at just forgiving one another, He gave us His method Read the rest of this entry
Thoughtful Speaking
“You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say.” Pr. 18:20 [GN, emphasis added].
The first thing you do in situations of conflict is change your focus and the second thing is Watch Your Words. Do not attack the person you are in conflict with, attack the situation. The damage caused by some words is irreparable. In many cases, even though forgiveness happens but the scars remain. Some verbal weapons should never ever be used. Even in a war situation, there are ground rules. There are things you can do even in a war that can be considered a Read the rest of this entry
Yours vs. His
“Don’t be selfish… Be humble…. Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.” Phil. 2:3-6[ emphasis added]
When you are really in Christ Jesus, you have given your rights to God. That is what being a Christian is. If people really understand this, all the stress in marriages will go. The problem with us is that we confuse our wants with our rights. Read the rest of this entry
Dealing With Conflict
Don’t be selfish… Be humble…. Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.” Phil. 2:3-6
Three things jump out at us from this passage of Scripture. The first of which is Selfishness. It is my way or the high way. Folks that do not get their way by bullying, try to get their way by manipulations. It is still selfishness. The second thing we see there is Pride. God says be humble because when we act in pride, we tend to be demanding and unsympathetic.
Before
“Don’t be selfish… Be humble…. Don’t think only about your own affairs, be interested in others too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights.” Phil. 2:3-6[ emphasis added]
The secret of defusing conflict is in understanding where people are coming from. Understand their circumstance, their background, and their temperament. I know that understanding can be tough and a lot of people do not know how. So I will let you in on the secret to understanding and it is; you understand by listening before you speak. It sounds very simple but this is a life-saver. However in a conflict, all people care about is what they want to say. Have you noticed? Read the rest of this entry
Your Focus
“You should keep a clear mind in every situation.” 2 Tim. 4:5 [emphasis added]
The second type of stress is the Stress of Conflict. We are all different and because of this, conflict is an inevitable part of life. Conflict is never fun; it can be stressful. I do not enjoy conflict. The difference is that I have just accepted that it is a part of life and that is why it appears that I respond appropriately with conflict. So how does one eradicate conflict?
#1. In conflicting situations, the first thing you do is Change Your Focus. Change your focus from your needs to the Read the rest of this entry
Unshakable
“I leave it all in the Lord’s hand; I will trust God for my reward.” Isa 49:4 [emphasis added].
You need to develop a thick skin and a soft heart. Unfortunately, many of us develop a soft skin and a thick heart. And as a result, you are irritated at any small thing because our skins are so sensitive and our hearts are hardened [unforgiveness]. God wants you to reverse it. He wants you to have a thick skin and a soft heart, quick to forgive. So what if someone says something about you? My grandmother would usually say, the person said it with his or her Read the rest of this entry
Sure Reward
“Don’t envy evil men but continue to reverence the Lord all the time, for surely you have a wonderful future ahead of you.” Pr. 23:17-18 [LB, emphasis added]
Yesterday, I shared an experience with you about a business that went south because I chose to honor God and to do the right thing. In retrospect, I can tell you that God is completely faithful. Did I feel the pain, confusion, stress, and pressure? Yes! The reason I share my personal journey through life and walking with God is to let you know that you are not alone. And it is possible to do the right thing and trust God and He that came through for me will come through Read the rest of this entry
Trust God!
“People with integrity have a firm footing, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall” Pr. 10:9.
If you have walked the path of integrity, you will have nothing to hide. You need to determine what is more important in your life, is it truth or is it things? If things are more important to you, you will compromise easily. Greed is the fastest route to compromise. If truth is more important, regardless of what it is, God will keep you and hold you.
#2. In compromising situations, the second thing you do is Trust God For Your Future. Sometimes you see unethical people and it appears that they are prospering. Do not worry; it is just for a short time, believe me. But again it is not even your business; just trust God for your future. You trust God for your future. “Don’t envy evil men but continue to reverence the Lord all the time, for surely you have a wonderful future ahead of you.” Pr. 23:17-18 [LB, emphasis added]. How certain? Surely! I can tell you this because I stand at the pulpit and I sit at the pew. Meaning, I face the same challenges you face.
I run a business and there was this solution I had an idea of. So I pushed the proposal to a friend that was the Chief Technology Officer of a bank at the time. It was going to save them millions of naira and overtime, hundreds of millions of dollars. My friend saw the proposal, jumped at it and he removed the commercial page. So he got a blank cheque approval for it. I was excited about the approval until I discovered he had removed the commercial page. He said my quote was too small. I need to multiply it by fifteen because of all the people we have to “settle”. That was my first business in the year. I thought, what kind of temptation is this? I needed that money, I have a family to feed.
But in compromising situations you do the right thing. I refused to connive with him to defraud the organization by inflating the price. And that was the end of the deal. The second thing to do in compromising situations is to trust God for your future. He ran into a mutual friend and recounted everything to him. But our mutual friend laughed and said, Femi would never do a thing like that. When I heard it I felt very happy that at least people know. I pray the same would be said of you.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to reverence You at all times and trust You completely for the future You have planned for me, in Jesus Name.
